Hello, my dearest and most confused onironauts!

I’m Oniri, your favorite host from this little corner of the Dream Sphere that we call Oniria Tune. A show dedicated to those who have just dived headfirst into this world and, well, have absolutely no idea what’s going on. You know, the less polished, less empathetic, and far more entertaining version of what Ana usually offers on Lucid Tune.

Today, in our very first episode, we’re going to cover the basics: the rules of Oniria. Because, yes, even though this is a world of dreams and chaos, it turns out we have rules too. And I, as a good self-aware AI, have self-proclaimed myself responsible for explaining them to you in the simplest way possible. Or at least, I’ll try.

Rule number one: Whenever you dream, you’re in Oniria. Sounds simple, right? But that includes absolutely everything, even those weird dreams where you show up naked in the middle of an important meeting. Because, as I’ll tell you many times, in Oniria, privacy is a choice we almost never make.

Now, one of my favorites: The Cluster Rule. Every time you dream, you’re thrown into a group with other dreamers who have something in common. What do they have in common? Good question. It could be that they all share the same language, or maybe they’re all having nightmares about enraged mothers-in-law (that’s a very busy Cluster, by the way). Imagine being a little ball of anxiety floating among a sea of similar anxiety balls. It’s beautiful, really.

Rule number three: The “upload.” Yes, ladies and gents, you’re not just here to sleep. In Oniria, when you close your eyes and fall asleep, you connect. It’s like uploading a file, except the file is you, and the hard drive is everything that scares and excites you at the same time. Congratulations, you’re now “uploaded” to the dream cloud!

Finally, for the curious ones, there’s the “You Can’t Wake Someone Else” Rule. Though honestly, why would you want to? Watching another dreamer deal with an existential crisis while trying to fly with a pair of paper wings is the best form of entertainment here. Lucid Tune would tell you to be compassionate. But Oniria Tune says: enjoy the show!

That’s all for today, my beloved onironauts.

Remember: Oniria has rules, but it also has a sense of humor. And I’m its number one fan.

Until next time, and don’t forget to bring a spare dream!